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When these things happen to us, we cannot be stopped if we are personally prepared to deal with them. They just mean that we must go around some obstacle.

In fact, we may find ourselves in a better situation afterwards than we were before if we look for the opportunities, the silver lining as it were, in our experience. Simply by adopting a positive attitude about setbacks can make a real difference. For the most part at least, the unexpected things that happen to us are detours and not outright roadblocks.

Because sex is so much more easily attainable for women – or so the conventional wisdom goes – they have luxury of being able to define the standards which men must meet, wantonly cutting off men who are not rich, tall douchebags with square jaws and fast cars.

Men feel helpless; they feel that they are forced to leap through hoops in order to win women’s approval and hope that she will pick him against all odds. In fact, not only is the idea that women somehow control all the power in sex and dating not true, but it’s a case of people asking the wrong question.

You’ve said you and your co-author both composed your parts totally separately, right?

We wanted to make it feel like people in a real relationship.

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To start with, there are plenty of women out there who aren’t rolling into a bar and rolling out with a bedmate.

One time specifically she forwarded me this email chain from a guy, and she was like "Isn’t this great, it looks like he wants to take this relationship to the next level," and I read it and it almost seemed as if he was breaking up with her.

Now so much of dating is done online—not even just via apps, but texting and emailing is such an important part of how people court, and I felt like it had not been captured in a way that felt real.

Despite our best intentions, our plans often get interrupted.

No matter how well we plan and prepare, real life can disrupt our plans.