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“The internet is the cheater’s best friend,” said Ruth Houston, who runs the Web site Infidelity

“Think about what a person would’ve had to do 15, 20 years ago to have an affair.

When I heard, last night, that the data dump from the Ashley Madison hack was online and searchable, I navigated toward it almost automatically.

On a crowded subway platform coming home from a baseball game, three beers and a hot dog into my evening, on my tiny little phone, I started tapping every email address I could remember by heart into that empty white box, almost without thinking.

Anyway, muscle memory and morbid curiosity make for quite the cocktail. It's a feeling a lot of people — maybe thousands — will be having this week.

Of course, I was right: I remember the moment I found out he cheated on me in a way that's so vivid it's almost physical: the scratchiness in my throat, the rag-doll crumple of my knees, the ringing in my ears. We stayed together for months afterward — my choice.

When Elvis Presley sang "Suspicious Minds," he probably never realized he'd be forever associated with this affair anthem, which spoke to his hound dog side.

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That experience tells us that men don't join "affair" sites because of sex; they do it because of fear. Or is it that they're married to women who are terrible spouses -- that they were somehow driven to seek intimacy and comfort outside their relationships?

Back in those days, Elvis was on the road and surrounded by a protective entourage.

Priscilla’s options to spy on him would have been limited.

There are a lot of different kinds of infidelity, was my argument, and a lot of different ways to be in a relationship.

There are a million different ways to be cruel to the people you love, and only a fraction of them involve pulling your browser up to a page you shouldn't and clicking "sign in." I'm still really happy I made that decision.